Franken-Planner

I'm on prototype #4 of my "Perfect" Planner

“I need a new planner.” We know what this thought means:

Note to Self: These Are the Signs That Mean "Just START"

Planner porn is my guilty pleasure. Whenever I’m feeling low, I look at sites like Leverage, Rifle Paper Co., Day Designer, Blue Sky, Erin Condren… oh, there are many, many more.

I peruse their perfect pages, their luscious layouts, their opulent options. I imagine what life would be like if I bought one — how much more organized, peaceful, successful, and productive I would be.

It’s a wonderful feeling, even though it’s entirely false and fleeting.

Because you know as well as I do that there is no such thing as the perfect planner. Companies will try to convince you that they’ve cracked the code and if you buy THIS one, it’ll fix everything.

(You know, like how hitting your goal weight, nailing your morning routine, finding the right partner, et al. will fix everything.)

If the last seven years (everyone’s number is different; mine is currently seven) have taught me anything, it’s that nothing is perfect, nothing will ever be perfect, and the sooner I can really accept that, the happier I’ll be.

But I still go back to my planner porn. So much so that Tiffany banned me from buying another planner this year. “Force yourself to use the one(s) you already have, and by the end of the year, you’ll know what you really want.”

Luckily, when she said that, I had three to choose from. This was in April, mind you.

Yes. I’d bought three new planners in the previous seven months.

All that’s left of Planner #1 is the extra pages she had in the back. Oh, the carnage.

Planner #1: December 1, 2023 - January 31, 2024

In November 2023, I decided to venture back into a paper calendar. I’d been using my phone calendar for years, but never really liked it. And after a wonderful retreat I attended in November — during which my phone stayed in my room all day and the world (gasp!) did NOT fall apart — I wanted to experiment with leaving my phone on my dresser all day.

I decided on this Erin Condren planner for several reasons:

1. It was undated, so I could start using it right away.

2. It was small, so it would fit into handbags of varying sizes.

3. It had a monthly layout, since there was no reason to get more detailed than that given that a large chunk of my day would be blocked off as “job.”

4. It was pretty and simple. Post-retreat vibe was “Keep it simple, Beautiful.”

I dove head-first into this planner. I decked out each month with a Pipsticks theme. I put more stickers on it for dates like birthdays and anniversaries.

I knew the honeymoon was over when…

Writing in the standing meetings for my full-time job made my perfect planner look gunked-up far too quickly for me to maintain my sense of peace and openness.

(Because the planner must be the problem, not the soul-crushing job.)

Planner #2: February 1, 2024 - March 31, 2024

I purchased the coral polka-dot version of this Sugar Paper planner to give myself a bit more room so that my standing work meetings didn’t take up the whole day. At first, I breathed a sigh of relief — finally, there was enough space for my various meetings and appointments. And I could see the whole month at a time, which I really like.

But then I decided to quit my job.

As of April 1, for the first time in my adult life, my days would be wide open for me to fill in as I chose. Very soon, I’d have multiple clients to juggle. Which meant multiple deadlines, multiple meetings, multiple stages of a long-term project to keep track of.

A monthly planner simply would not do.

Clearly, I needed a weekly planner.

Planner #3: April 1, 2024 - June 10, 2024

Oh, the thrill of shopping for yet another planner — the planner that would most certainly set up my new business for immediate and streamlined success. A blank slate. The ultimate first-day-of-school-the-rest-of-your-life vibe.

I searched and sought. I perused and prayed. And then I came upon one of the most customizable planners I’ve ever seen.

Cover art. Personalization. Multiple layouts. Start on any date you want. Add birthdays and anniversaries. Customizable daily and weekly modules to track pretty much anything you want.

I spent hours choosing all of my customizations. Adding in dozens of birthdays and anniversaries. Once I had my final design, I could see the person I would be:

I would be a person who tracked her sleep patterns and daily water intake.

I would be a person who performed an act of self-care every day.

I would be a person who wrote something every day.

I would be a person who checked off at least three to-dos every week.

I would be a person who never missed a birthday or special event.

I would be so fucking together.

I waited days and days for my planner to arrive. I had to wait because of how personalized and perfect it was going to be. I also had to wait because IT WAS COMING FROM SWEDEN.

Yes. I’d ordered the Scandinavian Special.

But it would all be worth it, because I was going to start my new business on the right foot.

This is about the time that Tiffany told me I wasn’t allowed to buy any more planners, and I was more than happy to agree to her challenge, because I knew that this one would be the One.

When the One Isn’t the One

I was so flipping happy for the first few weeks of my life with my new planner. I took a video of it and sent it to a couple of my friends. “Look how pretty! Look how organized!” I cooed. I tracked my sleep, my water intake, my self-care and writing moments…

Until it inevitably became too much. Also, I didn’t want to track my sleep and water every day. I mean, who even does that? Who has their life so very organized that they can document those things, unless doing so is part of a plan to resolve some sort of health issue?

I also stopped using half of the pages.

I wasn’t getting to all of my to-dos each week, so I fell into the terrible hamster wheel of writing them down again on the following week’s pages. I had entirely too many blank pages at the end to list/note … what?? All of the empty space, untracked water glasses, and repeated to-dos left me feeling like a failure every week.

So I started looking at MORE planners. This time, I looked at daily planners — the kind that track the hours each day so you can block out your time.

Because maybe, magically, I’d become a time-blocker? Even though it had never worked for me in all of my 42 years of Type-A obsession? Sure, let’s go with that.

But I wasn’t allowed to buy another planner. And yet I was itching to try something new. Wait a minute. Tiffany never said I couldn’t go back to a previous planner…

Planner #4: June 10 - Present

Oddly, though I’d gone from monthly to weekly to contemplating-daily planners, I decided to bounce back to Planner #2 — a sizable monthly layout, with just a few pages at the end to play with. I would simplify. I would zoom out.

I wanted to make Planner #2 feel new again,¹ so I glued some pretty paper to the insides of the covers and added some fun washi as an accent. (This had the added benefit of reinforcing the covers a bit.)

I dissected pieces off of Planner #3 and reattached them to Planner #2 — a pocket (everyone loves a pocket), some trackers I’d printed out and glued into Planner #3. I even cut off Planner #3’s tabs and adhered them to Planner #2 with glue and more washi.

I have created … Franken-planner.

So far, she’s doing well. (I mean, it’s only been a week, so we’re still fully in the honeymoon phase.) I’m proud of myself for not buying a new planner, and for getting creative with the one(s) I have.

Oh. I did buy one thing.

I decided that I wanted to try time blocking, but I didn’t want to forever memorialize my weekly schedules in a planner. I found this weekly schedule notepad on Amazon and filled in the first week with color-coded time blocks.

Say it with me. “Look how pretty! Look how organized!”

Yes, I blurred out the specifics. You don’t need to know all that, Stalker. ;)

It was a complete and utter failure.² Despite it being printed on the page, my days did not begin at 6:00 a.m. In fact, due to low iron and a wonky thyroid (which I only found out about a couple weeks ago), my days started long after that. I started every day behind schedule.

You know what else is missing from this schedule? I’ll give you a hint: None of those colors represent rest, or meandering, or unstructured time.

I didn’t leave any space.

And space is where the magic happens.³

But I have a whole notepad to go through, so we’re having another go. This week, I’ve got my firm appointments, meetings, and gym classes blocked out. But the rest of the schedule is wide open. I’m jotting down a few key tasks at the top of each day, but that’s it.

Because this week, we’re experimenting with:

• Trusting that what needs to get done will get done.

• Having faith that the magic will happen if it’s given the space to happen.

• Staying curious about what we’ll learn.

• Accepting that what works today might not work tomorrow, and that’s okay.

I didn’t think this post would end up being so long, but I’m glad you’re here at the end of it. I hope you have a great week — however you’ve planned it.

1. I am learning that my brain needs novelty to feel alive. Had you already figured that out? Look at you go, smarty-pants!

2. Good news: It’s not really a failure if you learn something from it. Hooray!

3. Just ask any astronaut. Tee-hee.